Mass Effect 2 – quite simply, is the best game I’ve ever played. Sure, there are still some rather annoying bugs, but pretty much all the crappy mechanics and gameplay from the first game have been changed and altered into one what has to be the most engagingly cinematic storyline and combat in the genre – if not the industry. Mass Effect 2 lets you carry over your save file from the first game, and in doing so makes the game so personal and unique that the it becomes this all engrossing and immersive experience.
Spoilers ahead, so if you haven’t finished the game don’t cry about me ruining it for you.
Unlike 2008, 2009 didn’t really have as many solid triple A titles. The games that I’ve really been looking forward to (sup Splinter Cell Conviction) have been pushed back into 2010 or to a much later date (sup Alpha Protocol.) While there wasn’t really a ball-grabbing game like Fallout 3 to hold my attention, there were a couple really good games – games that deserve to be listed on my internet website on the internet.
THE GOOD
BATMAN: ARKHAM ASYLUM
Arkham Asylum is the best single player narrative I’ve played since Bioshock. The game is almost perfect, provides a solid and challenging combat system, and makes for the best Batman experience this side of a graphic novel.
TRINE
Trine, FrozenByte’s indie platforming puzzle action game, occupied a large amount of my time this year. It’s surprising that it didn’t get more press, because I ultimately found it as engaging as Braid was. Plus, Trine sounds good and looks amazing.
LEFT 4 DEAD 2
Come on, Scurn, get your shit together.
Valve’s announcement and release of this game within a short timespan is basically saying “we fucked up!” with the first game. L4D2 is leaps and bounds better than the original, but ultimately it ends up being more or less the same game. That doesn’t make it bad, it just doens’t have the raging appeal the first game did. If anything, it just goes to show how flawed the original game was.
MIRROR’S EDGE
A close call between this and Dragon Age, but if Mirror’s Edge were a couple of hours longer and had more replay value, I’d say Mirror’s Edge was the best game I’ve played in a long while. Original, fast, fun, and stylized.
GHOSTBUSTERS
Hopefully Caddyshack: The Game is next.
Much like Batman, Ghostbusters managed to be a breath of fresh air. Sure, the game was released without multiplayer on PC, and it lacked the feeling of a truly triple A title, but being able to capture ghosts, fight the Stay-Puft Marshmellow Man, and hear the original voices of the cast more than made up for it.
DEMON’S SOULS
The idea of an Eastern game that was set in a Westernized game world tickled my fantasy as soon as I heard of Demon’s Souls. It’s Final Fantasy meets Dungeons and Dragons with extremely old school difficulty.
TORCHLIGHT
Half as good as it could have been.
Torchlight surprised me – it’s a fantastic hack and slash that runs well on my netbook and plays about as well as you could hope for a Diablo clone.
DAWN OF DISCOVERY
I’m usually not into Civ-esque games, but Anno 1404 looks good and makes for a pretty good break from shootan games.
KILLING FLOOR
I'm trying to weld you, not shag you.
Killing Floor’s simple premise and paper thin story may pale in comparison to Left 4 Dead’s slightly-less-simple premise and slightly more sturdy paper thin story, but the higher player cap and iron sights more than made up for it.
RISEN
The first thing I thought of when playing Risen was “fuck, this is hard.“ And it’s good, too.
DRAGON AGE: ORIGINS aka BEST GAME OF 2009 aka GOTY
Enchantment?
Enchantment!Dragon Age proved to be a classic Bioware game, modernized and updated. The graphics, interface, etc – everything is perfect about it, except maybe for the missing option to give Zevron a reach around as a quick time event.
ALSO… honorable mentions to both Infamous and Prototype, which provided some fun.
THE MEH
STAR WARS: THE FORCE UNLEASHED
The Force Unleashed’s PC release this year helped me finally be able to sit down and enjoy the game. Too bad it is such a horribly shitty port, but it still plays well. Killin’ Stormtroopers and Wookiees, what more could you ask?
BORDERLANDS
I don’t know if it was Gamespy Arcade or the fact that the game ran out of steam for the last half of it’s duration, but Borderlands disappointed me. It was fun, but in the end I don’t see “eleventy billion guns” real reason to keep playing it. The best part of this was jumping into the cars with Rogahdan and Nelms. Many laughs ensued.
ZENO CLASH
I suppose I should give Zeno Clash a break for being an indie game, but it was a bit disappointing to me – far too linear. It does get points for being stylized and having an awesome art style, though.
CHAMPIONS ONLINE
Maybe I’m just sick of “Daddy, can I play” rollercoaster MMOs, but Champions Online was about as fun as making penises in Spore. Meaning that the character creator was the most fun I had in the game. I only played it for thirty minutes anyway, and made Rot cry about it.
THE SHITTY
Not even worth wasting bandwidth on screenshots for!
DARKFALL
Just way too bad. Eleven years in development and all I got was this lousy T-shirt. Darkfall has shitty animations, shitty mechanics and is basically shit.
Once again, Activision and Bobby Kotick prove that video games don’t have to be any good to make a shit load of money. I see no real redeeming quality in this game at all – it’s the same recycled FPS garbage I’ve played since Medal of Honor.
There is an ancient Chinese proverb that goes something like this: “Shitty web filtering software is no substitute for parenting your kids.” If I really had a dollar for every time I saw a customer use this horrendously shitty software in place of a hardware based appliance (like a dedicated box running Dan’s Guardian, which is ten thousand times more secure and effective) or good old fashion parenting, I’d be a rich dude indeed.
The problem with shitty software like K9 Web Filtering is that it sucks on a few different levels:
It relies on a driver to filter content, so if something happens to said driver (ie. virus infection, corruption, Windows update), you lose all web connectivity.
It doesn’t just filter web traffic, but any IP based traffic going in or out of the computer (virus updates, Windows updates, etc.)
It uses a “phone home” method for verifying the program’s administrative password. If you lose or misplace the password, you can have it emailed to you, which works fantastically since the shitty program blocks email
Worst of all, K9 doesn’t give a tool or method to remove itself in the event that the program becomes corrupted or inoperable. In the case of a customer I had to deal with this morning, the program stopped working altogether after Day Light Savings Time, for some reason.
Anyway, web filtering programs are shitty and you should parent your kids instead. Here’s how to remove it without the administrative password:
Uninstall K9 using Revouninstaller’s advanced mode. When asked for the password, press “Cancel” and then remove the leftovers Revouninstaller finds.
That should fix it. Usually, I wouldn’t bother posting niche tips like this, but I figure this might save someone time trying to troubleshoot it. Also, don’t use K9, it sucks.
I have no doubt that The Old Republic will take up a majority (read: all) of my free time when it is released. I’ve been jonesing over every piece of information released on the game since it’s announcement, and today the last two classes have finally been (unofficially) revealed. According to these two scans from German magazine PC Games, at least.
This makes for four classes per side, which is something that has been pretty apparent since the game was announced. Two Force using classes per side makes for a decent amount of variety in Force gameplay whilst making sure that there is enough variety in the amount of Force users running around. It’s pretty obvious that, as a Star Wars game, the majority of the fan base is going to want to play as a Jedi or a Sith. This just makes sure that not every Force user is a Jedi Knight, which is a very good thing in terms of Lorefaggin’.
What is interesting is that there are obvious mirrors in gameplay mechanics so far, although said mirrors are not exact counterparts to either class.
The Jedi Knight and Sith Warrior both seem to be tank/melee type of classes, while the Sith Inquisitor and Jedi Consular are more mage/caster types. The Bounty Hunter and Republic Trooper each have lots of firepower and gadgets, and the Smuggler and Imperial Agent each use a pretty sweet cover mechanic and fill the glass cannon DPS role.
At any rate, I’m excited as all hell for this game (if that wasn’t obvious.) I probably should have paid more attention in German class in high school, but oh well. Hopefully Bioware starts shedding some light on game mechanics etc now that all eight classes have been announced.
Pretty amazing. All kinds of features – HD texture packs, the Morrowind Graphics Extender, and some other crazy shit. Even though I have hardly modded Morrowind at all, this makes the game look just as good as Oblivion, except maybe the characters. Awesome.
Actually, it doesn’t. Aion is a game deeply rooted in risk/reward with actual incentives to PvP. It is World of Warcraft 1.0, perfected and polished and with much more gold selling spam.
But as I’ve been slowly writing up a review summarizing the hilarious exploits of Floyd, my level 31 Templar, it’s become quite more apparent that Aion is a game of very few flaws (most of which are not really NCsoft’s fault at all) and more of an example of a great game that attracts an absolutely shitty cesspool of a community.
Literally twenty minutes into the game I found myself accosted to join this guy’s guild:
Later, Nelms and I re-discovered how it felt to be a fifteen year old on the internet…
… and later realized that anyone grouped in a MMORPG seems to either have to eat dinner or has someone knocking at their door:
After a while, you’ll get used to the constant “JOIN MAH END GAEM PvPvE GUILD” requests:
Or the French “JOIN LE ENDGAME PvPvE GUILD!” requests:
You’ll learn to deal with the large amount of retarded healers who seem to have a 500ms+ ping at all times and cause your group to wipe multiple times and don’t understand why you kick them out of the group when they go link dead for the ninth time:
I held a gun to this guy's head and made him come play internet video games.
Perhaps the worst part of Aion is not the semi-shit camera control, but the shitty and constant gold spam. Watch how the gold farmers have evolved since early launch:
When NCsoft blocked whispers relating to gold spam, they took their fight to the streets:
And finally were beaten into submission to the point where the only messages these guys can get across isn’t really coherent at all:
But what can I say? This game is great – it is finally an MMO that nailed WoW’s “easy to pick up, hard to master” gameplay and remains accessible without being too pussified. Aion isn’t dumbed down to the point where getting high end rewards is nullified by the fact that everyone else has the same rewards for less effort, and for that it should be rewarded. Good job, Aion.
If you’ve never heard of Austrian Death Machine, I recommend you take a good, long look at your priorities in life. The second album, “Double Brutal“, was released yesterday and happens to be one of the most perfect albums of all time. I’ve been listening to it on loop since last night (yes, even when asleep.)
Other new albums that have disappointed me very much – Alice In Chains’ new album which isn’t actually Alice In Chains at all – it’s Jerry Cantrell and the original members with some new singer, which makes no sense. Layne’s signature growl was the major defining point of Alice in Chains, and without it (whoever the new singer is, sucks) AIC just sounds like generic heavy rock. It sucks to see them embarrass themselves this bad. But not nearly as bad as Pearl Jam.
Now, I’m not against artists making money. Far from it. And if it weren’t for Pearl Jam’s music over the years, I probably would have jumped off a bridge a while ago. Alright, well maybe not that drastic, but one of the appeals of Eddie and the band was that they were always so against marketing and coroprate control of the media. Sure, they may have a band run fan club that is almost required to be a member of (I’m a member) to get decent tickets to any of their shows, but I think this goes a bit past the realm of making money – many a Pearl Jam show I’ve seen, Eddie has actually called out businesses like Wal-Mart and Ticketmaster. But, hey, the album is only twelve bones, right? Too bad Backspacer sounds awful. Every song sounds the same, save for two that sound like they belong on Eddie’s Into The Wild. I’m sure somewhere, a plaid wearing, torn jeans and Chuck Taylor wearing Pearl Jam fan is laughing at me for claiming to be a fan after Ten, but what can I say? I like the band. I still do, even if they are starting to embarrass themselves horribly.
In video game news, The Old Republic beta apps have opened up – a surprise move by Bioware, but also a good one. Hopefully beta starts in two to three months, and release about a year from now. Maybe sooner. I’m also playing Aion right now, and I have to admit, for all the shitty sounds and over the top animations, it’s a solid game. It reminds me of WoW 1.0, but a bit grindier. Actually, a lot grindier, but if you expect that going in, it’s not bad. Oh, and it’s focused on PvP, which makes me happy in the pants. I should have a review up for it soon.
Yes, I’m here, I’ve just gotten lazy as shit at updating this thing. Oh well.
There were really only two shows I had been watching this summer – HBO’s True Blood and Fox’s King of the Fuckin’ Hill.
First, the good – King of the Hill’s last season left me with that warm and fuzzy feeling inside. On one hand, it is sad to see such an amazing show pushed off the air for another Family Guy spinoff, but I guess money talks louder than quality in the end.
No son of mine is gonna watch Iron Chef!
King of the Hill was, in my opinion, one of the smartest shows on TV, and I’ll be adding this season to the DVDs of the show I already own. Twelve years is a long time for any show, and I’m glad the quality held up as long as it did.
That boy ain't right.
On the other hand, I’m glad that Mike Judge didn’t run the show into the ground like the Simpsons or Family Guy – while those shows may have overstayed their welcome far too long, King of the Hill will die a slow and peaceful death. Unless, it’s resurrected again.
I would do the Queen.
True Blood ended on a very expected cliffhanger, and all in all I have to say I was happy with this season. The show is so fucking cheesy, but it took me until halfway through this season to realize that this is probably the direction Alan Ball is taking the show. It really does feel like a 70’s B-Flick horror movie or something. I do think the Mary-Anne plotline was dragged out way too long, although Michelle Forbes did a great job playing the character. And I would do her.
Andy and Jason: True Bros?
I’m ready for Season 3, and it will certainly be a long wait for the new episodes, but oh well. At least Dexter, Curb and Sunny start up soon, and the Fall TV season is far better than the summer, anyway.
One thing that I absolutely hate about the current generation of video games is the apparent need for developers to exploit and beat franchises into the fucking ground without really innovating or doing anything new. Sure, Call of Duty may be one of the most polished shooters on the market, but I can almost guarantee that the new game won’t be doing anything groundbreaking or new – it will just be more of the same. For some people, this is fine. For a classy fellow such as myself, not so much.
When I look back at 2008’s major games, there really weren’t all that many new game properties – Dead Space and Mirror’s Edge were the two actual new properties that I can think of off the top of my head, and 2009 doesn’t look much better. Even my absolute favorite game of 2008, Fallout 3, was a
Except for WET, an A2M (not Ass-2-Mouth, sadly) game being published by Bethesda, staring the lovely Eliza Dushku as the protagonist. The game looks like a “70’s Grindhouse Flick meets Max Payne” type of deal, and if the car chase scene above is any indication, it is going to kick ass.
Even if it bombs, at least Ass-2-Mouth is trying something relatively new, much like Dead Space and Mirror’s Edge did last year. That alone makes it worth giving it a chance.
For most people, Tarantino’s work is hit or miss. I for one appreciate his subtle sense of humor and dark undertones, as well as the self-masturbatory dialogue the each and every one of his flicks use.
As far as quality, Basterds is your typical Tarantino movie. Surprisingly, however, the best performance was not that of Brad Pitt’s, or even Eli Roth’s, although they were both awesome in their own right. Christoph Waltz, who played the lead “bad German”, absolutely killed it – giving an amazing performance in not one, but three languages throughout the movie. He’s a German actor, but fuck me if he didn’t portray the most vivid and in depth character in the entire movie.
Everything else that a Tarantino fan would love is here – over the top fight scenes and quiet, tense moments of dialogue punctuated by a graphic reaction or violent event. The movie’s run time is about two and a half hours, I think, and there were a couple of parts that I wished it would just hurry the fuck up and finish with, but right as the thought crossed my mind it would be over and the next scene would start.
Probably the best part of the movie is how engaging the characters are. Every major character in this movie is a “Basterd” in his or her own right – and in some ways, the Nazis are shown to be less violent and savage than Pitt’s crew.
For the thirteen bucks it cost to get in, I was more than happy – hopefully Tarantino will stop trying to make shit like Grindhouse and focus on these types of movies – the plot and dialogue based ones he excels at. At any rate, if you see one flick this summer, make it this one. If you see two flicks this summer, make it this one and District 9… just remember that Avatar will be a whole hell of a lot better.
